Friday, May 05, 2006

Where's Calgon when you need it??

DISCLAIMER: Whine Warning. The following post may contain content of a pitiful nature. If you are offended or annoyed by such content, do not proceed. I repeat, for your own protection, do NOT proceed. Please shield the eyes of small children and pets.
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I am just going to take a few minutes and get some things off my chest. I have been trying to handle everything in my life at this point with as much poise and grace as possible, but a time comes when you just want to hide your head under the pillow and tell it all to go away. So where IS Calgon when you really need it?

Chronic sinus infections, severe headaches, and sleep deprivation are enough to drive you up a wall but add to that being a "single" mom, the worries and stresses of Kevin being in harm's way in Iraq, three kids who are also stressed out and miss Daddy, baseball season with practices 3 nights a week, cub scout activities, a two-hour carpool with bickering kids every day, two boys who don't want to do their homework and are pulling every trick in the book to avoid it, their little sister who delights in pushing their buttons, a house that seems to get messier by the nanosecond, no scrapping time or down time to speak of, loads of guilt for raising my voice at the kids way too much, yadda yadda yadda....I admit it. I'm stressed out. And there are almost THREE months to go before Kevin gets to come home on his R&R leave, which is only two weeks long. Then another heart-wrenching good-bye launches us into another 5 to 8 months of the same.

I'm generally an optimist. I don't like to complain, and I usually find it easy to look on the bright side of things. I knew what we were in for going into this gig. And I am so proud of Kevin that I could just burst. I would not have him do anything else, he is so suited for the Army Chaplaincy. I know God strengthens us both, and I know he watches over our family and over Kevin. And I have to trust that He will bring good out of it like He promises.

But sometimes the sacrifices are just a lot. Then you hear of hateful, ungrateful people protesting at military funerals and hospitals and saying hurtful, angry things, and you just want to shake some sense into them. These soldiers and their families are putting an awful lot on the line, all voluntarily. Kevin and our family included. For the people of this great nation...for freedom. It is worth the price, yes. But I'm not going to pretend the price is small. No. It is a huge price to pay, being shouldered by a very small percentage of Americans. And it makes one weary. So if I complain here or there, or if something I'm supposed to do slips through the cracks, please be patient. Because amid baseball and bickering and headaches and worries, I am truthfully not always as graceful or poised as I want to be. At times I feel like everything is falling apart around me. But I'm doing my best and this time will come to an end eventually.

So that is the thing to cling to. "This, too, shall pass."

In the meantime, please pass the bubble bath.