Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Begin at the Beginning

Well, all right. I've joined the world of the Blogger. I thought it would be a good way to document the journey that our family has embarked upon. Besides, now that some of my friends are blogging, I feel kind of left out. ;)

Yesterday Kevin left for his deployment. It was a surreal day. We woke up early, feasted on bacon and blueberry muffins (Kevin's request) and then drove him to the baggage loading area. He hugged everyone, got out, unloaded his bags, and then we drove away. He wanted it that way. There was no time to hang on him and cry...we had done that the night before. We just drove home and continued life as if nothing had happened. The kids played and squabbled as usual--it made me wonder why I had kept them out of school for the occasion. The only time it really got hard for them was at bedtime. It was like pulling teeth to get them headed in that direction, and when they finally were in bed, they missed him. They missed his reading their bedtime story, and his hugs, and just knowing he was in the house while they slept. So I read, and I hugged extra tight to try and make up the difference. But it just isn't the same as a Daddy Hug.

Later, Kevin was able to call me from Maine. That was when it hit me--he was on the eastern edge of America, and preparing to travel still further and further east. Some very kind veterans and church folk had come to see them off, and brought cell phones for them to use. We had a few golden minutes to talk, then the phone cut out just as we were saying good-bye. I just wasn't finished yet, but he didn't call back. I'm sure someone else was waiting for the phone...and we were practically finished anyway. But it was just the trigger that opened the dam, and I cried out my loneliness and worry until I had squeezed every drop out. I slept so hard last night, after that.

This evening he called again...this time from Kuwait. It's amazing how he could have traveled half a world in one day. He had more time this evening, and the kids all got to talk to him. Thomas couldn't wait to give him the good news that he received all "A's" on his progress report. And again, they just took it in stride--the fact that it was 4:00 am tomorrow morning where he was, while it was 7:00 pm here; the description of being on the other side of the globe--it didn't phase them. I'm amazed at their adaptability and faith. Amazed and thankful.

So, here we are. I feel strong and ready to face this. I can face a year apart. But I don't let my mind rest on that unthinkable concept that is in the back of my head like a lurking shadow. I force my mind away from that, and let myself rest in the childlike faith that has been modeled to me today by my own children.


Rach said...

yay! I'm so glad you're blogging now too, Carol. This is going to be an exciting journey to share with you.

Cindy said...

Peekaboo! I see you too! :) Happy to see you're giving yourself an outlet for your emotions, as well as a record that you will treasure once Kevin is safely home in your arms. Hugs to you my sister.

Bonny said...

thanks for sharing with us! I'm crying here with you now, but I'll be here when you need to laugh too! hugs!